A few days ago, a good friend posted something on a social media platform that I viewed as both inaccurate (not a big deal in itself) but also, more importantly to me at the time, contributing to a larger problem by inappropriately placing the blame for a situation on the wrong party. By doing this, I reasoned, they were inadvertently helping to protect the real guilty party, who was causing a humanitarian crisis in another part of the world.

Given this line of reasoning, I was mildly annoyed at my friend (in my mind, she was allowing her emotions and predispositions to override the objective facts and her otherwise sharp thinking), but more importantly, I was genuinely concerned that she was unwittingly helping to worsen an already bad situation that was affecting millions of innocent people. I care deeply about my friend and know her to be a caring, genuinely good person. But that didn’t stop me. So, instead of trying to have a private, one-to-one discussion with her, I did the typical social media thing and immediately wrote both a retort to her post, and a couple of separate posts that presented what I still believe to be the objective, verifiable facts.

Both my reply to her post and my subsequent posts were stupid, insensitive, and pointless.

My friend, whom I value, is now likely mad at me. Whether or not she was wrong is not the point. Because the way I responded alienated her more than it served to engage her in looking at what I believe to be the truth. And while I had good intentions in trying to prevent others from believing the inaccurate information she was sharing, I don’t think either my retort to her post or my subsequent statements laying out the facts as I knew them did anything to educate anyone. They were too long for most to bother reading, and they likely weren’t even viewed by many, because social media is designed to support existing opinions rather than lead to a healthy exchange of ideas. Poor execution on my part, on a platform where I couldn’t succeed. I was stupid and insensitive, and I apologize to my friend for that. But having deservedly beaten myself up a bit for my actions, it did serve to push me toward a decision I’ve been putting off for far too long: To leave all major social media platforms.

Social media platforms don’t need to be the way they are, of course. But the algorithms that drive the business models behind major social media platforms are designed to promote both division and addiction rather than true discussion or objectivity, because that’s more profitable to them. They are designed to have people go deeper and deeper into what they already believe, and to create division and animosity between those who have differing opinions. Social media companies know their platforms do this better than anyone, but they simply don’t care. Another few cents on their per-share earnings numbers are worth far more to them than a stable society or sustained friendships. Human beings and their relationships, and even human suffering, are merely fuel for these companies. They use them to churn out dollars, consequences be damned. Evil is one description I could use for them, but it might not fully describe the contempt I feel.

So, I deactivated and suspended my social media account on that platform and am in the process of doing so with others. I plan to share this writing with my friend and apologize for the way I handled this. I still don’t agree with her, and frankly I still think her post was wrong. But I do hope she will understand and forgive. And by the way, I would delete my account with this platform entirely rather than just deactivate and suspend it, except for the fact that simply suspending it allows me to still receive messages sent to me on a messaging platform they own, and I know several people and groups that rely on that to reach me. I hate that, but I’m stuck with it, at least for now. That alone sends a shiver down my spine. The degree to which these companies affect our lives is chilling.

I’ll now share writing like this on a web blog that few are likely to ever see. But at least I can use that to sort out my thoughts, and at least when I do so I’m less likely to either damage a friendship or contribute to the evil that I have come to believe social media inflicts on our world. I regret the way I handled things with my friend, even though I still disagree with her. But if anything good comes of that, I suspect it will be that it served as the final straw to force me out of social media, for good.